Sry I called you an 8
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
