That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
