So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize