at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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