if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
