Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
