you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
