i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
