And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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