we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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