Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i out mim tonsoeep
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