Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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