Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
