Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
