So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
