Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
