Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
