hell yes lets make some ravioli
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
