Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
