the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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