if i died would you start the facebook group?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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