I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Randomize
