Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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