Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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