she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
