I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
