Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
