You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
