I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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