I got her a Nickelback box set.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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