im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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