i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
