when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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