you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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