Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
