i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
