Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
