She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
