We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
