OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
