you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
