its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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