She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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