dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
