You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
