People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So much rum. So many feels.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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