Don't you send me to vm
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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