shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
