Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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