well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
